चप्पल मारो चैपल को ……….

ई ससुरा चैपलवा ने हमार भेजा खराब कर दीया है!! कुछ भी बके जात है ससुर का नाती! ऐसे लोगों को लात मार कर भगा देना बेहतर है!

Let me tell you that I am a staunch supporter of Indian Cricket and won’t accept any illogical and personal abuses towards my team, rather our team.

Chappell surely has a nuisance value. To be honest, it’s quite tempting to blame him for everything that has been going wrong around the world. The idiot is saying that he was racially abused and has accused BCCI of cover-up. According to him, he got and “old” and “flawed” team for the World Cup 2007 and similar crap.

Let me tell you that I am a staunch supporter of Indian Cricket and won’t accept any illogical and personal abuses towards our team. Chappell’s two-year stint with Team India was more about mudslinging and muckraking than managing the side. Greg Chappell’s time as the coach of the Indian cricket team will always be remembered for all the wrong reasons.

He is an unscrupulous, dishonest person; a scoundrel to say the least because he never accepted his follies while his tenure as Indian Coach. He was in India to hog some limelight and nothing else. It was evident from the way he managed the team. His doctrine of “perform or perish” ensured that team is torn apart. He made headlines for silly reasons such as showing the middle finger in Kolkata, commenting on Parliamentarians that “the parliamentarians were paid to hurl accusations at the coach because the team was losing”, etc.

Now that the Indian team is doing well again, it seems he just cannot digest this fact and advances made by India recently in the cricketing arena. What a timing to hog the limelight yet again. India were on the verge of clinching the series against arch-rivals Pakistan, when his stupid statements started to appear in the media. Glorifying the magnanimous Greg Chappell, the Australian newspaper Herald Sun says

“Despite the disillusionment and the many frustrations, he is still trying to help a nation in which cricket is treated like a religion”

A big favour indeed. Oh! What will India do without you Mr Greg Chappell?

Now that the Indian team is doing well again, it seems he just cannot digest this fact and advances made by India recently in the cricketing arena. What a timing to hog the limelight yet again. India were on the verge of clinching the series against arch-rivals Pakistan, when his stupid statements started to appear in the media. चैपल को publicity से मतलब है बस….Glorifying the magnanimous Greg Chappell, the Australian newspaper Herald Sun says

“Despite the disillusionment and the many frustrations, he is still trying to help a nation in which cricket is treated like a religion”

A big favour indeed. Oh! What will India do without you Mr Greg Chappell?

If the victim Mr. Greg Chappell is so disheartened by this nation of “old, selfish and racists”, why is it that he has come back to this country? Why has he landed himself a job with Rajasthan Cricket Academy? The person who gave him this job is Lalit Modi, the Vice-President of BCCI. Why is he employed with somebody party to a cover-up? साला जीस थाली में खाता है उसी में छेद करता है ! समझता है उससे ऊपर कोई है ही नहीं? बैंड बजानी चाहिए ऐसे “थाली की बैगन की”!

Chappell says he didn’t get the team he wanted for the 2007 World Cup. Is Chappell saying he would have won the Cup with Suresh Raina, Venugopal Rao and other such 19-year-olds replacing Sachin Tendulkar, Sourav Ganguly and the other “seniors”?

As for the comment that the team for the 2007 World Cup was “old” and “flawed” and got the result it deserved, it begs the question: did Team India get the coach it deserved? वह टाइम ही झंड था जब उसने अपने कदम यहाँ रखे थे ! एक बेहतर कोच होता तो नतीजा कुछ और हो सकता था !

Greg Chappell is a shirker and he needs to realize that he was an abject failure as a coach and he conducted himself miserably. And one is so prone to hearing lies from this person, that it is hard to believe that he is speaking the truth this time around.

चैपल एक हारा हुआ आदमी है. वह कभी भी अपनी गलती नहीं मानेगा और पूरा दोष यहाँ के BCCI n team को देगा….ऐसे मक्कार आदमी को बीच सड़क पर धायें कर देना चाहिए!

अगर आपको भाषा पसंद न आई हो तो माफ़ी चाहता हूँ पर नन्हे(Nanhe) का दीमाग का दही कर दिया है उस गंजे ने….

Merits of Smoking!!!!

Last week i was travelling by local train. On my way to Andheri, a young man of my age was smoking in the compartment. On my request he threw the cigarette and we started a light conversation. He was long lost friend, falcon. Being a non-smoker i started my speech on how smoking is harmful? He very patiently listened to my speech, agreed and disagreed on few points as well. Once i finished off, he told me that he can prove that smoking is not that bad. I asked him to prove his point. And this is what he said—————-

” कौन कहता है
कि cigarette सीने को जलाती है
अरे कमबख्त यह तो सीने की आग है जो cigarette को सुल्गाती है…”

Tell me, how can something happily burn itself down, just clinging to your lips taking its last breath fore your five minutes be bad???Just how could it be? Sure my right chest pains occasionally, but the pain on on the left hand side, in my heart,is unbearable!!! So should I stop loving someone? Does that make “love” bad? For those who are not satisfied here are some advantages of smoking …. and the list is not exhaustive.

• It brings revenue to the country, ( one of the highest taxes are levied on Cigarettes) so it helps in building the nation.
• It leads to male impotency so it is an effective measure of population control.
• “Smoking kills you slowly”, So what? who is in hurry? . See If I start smoking at the age of 20 in all probability I will develop complications in mid 30s …and continue living up till late 40s to 60. So In fact I have lived all my productive years of my life and have contributed to society while I can. Now living further would mean, being a burden on the already depleted natural resources, hence we are actually doing a service to mankind!
• We are saving the environment, we are making the planet green. Now just take into account the amount of oxygen that a tobacco plant produces in a lifetime and compare that with the amount of toxic waste that cigarette from the same plant produces… it is way too less, not to mention that on the death of plant the same waste would be released to the environment.
• Generally, people who smoke needs a kind of reassurance, so my beloved cigarette provides that. Hence no need to be dependent on somebody.
• It builds self- confidence, keeps your morale high.
• It helps you stretch to the extreme, So you can work nights.
• It is a great stress buster like sex, with several distinct advantage, it is always available, is cheap, and no need to stick to the same brand.
• It has its own charisma.
• Smokers, often are much better observers, this is due to the fact that they often look for some discreet corner to have a fag, trying to hide from parents, looking out for suitable makeshift ash-tray or simply looking out for no smoking signs. Hence they make alert citizen- a prevention mechanism for terrorist attack.
• It is easy to make friends once you start smoking, you are no longer a social outcast. A lot can happen over cigarette.

In short Smoking is bliss ……. “Gudang Garam International” here I come!!!

After listening to this explanation i thought that he is not entirely wrong and probably i should also start smoking. But then i gained my senses and thought that no wonder whatever we do you just cannot convince a smoker that smoking is injurious to health.

Why should i treat you on my BIRTHDAY????

I’ve been banned from having birthdays
A new rule has been made
Signed ,sealed and delivered
By the local Fire Brigade!
They say that all those candles
Would create such a blaze
They’d have to come and put it out
And stay around for days !

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Men have a ridiculous notion that getting older is good. “I’m 65 and still can do the work of any 25-year-old,” is the boast you often hear from the male populous. Most women will never admit to being 65, let alone comparing themselves to some 25-year-old.

In as much as birthdays are a cause for celebration once you pass the magical age of 21 and can drink like a camel and carry a gun in public. Legally, that is. I mean, after that there isn’t really all that much to celebrate when the number you report in the “Age” field goes up by one, is there? h, and having grown up somewhere other than here, I celebrated my permission to drink like a sponge quite a bit before the age of 21. Of course, had it not been for my good luck and Providence in getting here, I’d have probably never celebrated the day when I could legally carry a gun, so I’m not complaining at all.

So what to celebrate after 21?
Birthdays are great when they’re someone else’s. I would rather mine be ignored entirely. I know I should be grateful to have a birthday – beats the alternative, right? I just feel that the counting down of years is such an unimportant measure of my worth and who I am. My physical age says absolutely nothing about me. Yet that number, if known, leads to a perception of me that is certainly wrong. Ha Ha Ha…..

I figure it’s my birthday tomorrow, so I should be able to celebrate whichever one I please. You must be planning how to have party from me.
I am writing the post on the eve of my birthday, just to tell you that I am not going to treat anyone of you this time. Come on Yaar, why you want a treat everytime on my birthday????
I was just wondering last night that what is so special about the Birthday’s that people celebrate it like anything?
May be they are “mad”!!!!!!!!

Why should I celebrate my Birthday?

It’s birthday time again I see;
Another year’s gone by.
We’re older than we used to be;
The thought could make me cry.

Just Because…….

• I have lost a precious year from my life or i have grown old by one more year.
• “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake”.
• Last year it was ok as i completed my 21 and that allows to marry me legally. But not this time (हर बार अपनी नहीं बजने दूंगा ………..).
• You will disturb me in the midnight and will say ” Happy Birthday”. Who will make up for the precious sleep then?
• You will kick my ass umpteen number of times and say it as BIRTHDAY BUMPS. Then you expect me to treat you on the occasion.
• Who will take care about that “reddish butt” which resulted from your kicks.
• You people will never send me the gifts. You will just get a cake and in return you want a Non-Veg treat.
• We all will be screwed in our Oral exams tomorrow and you want to celebrate my birthday. That’s stupid. Isn’t it? पढाई करो भाई लोगों जन्मदिन तो आते जाते रहते हैं……………
• तुम सब तो अपनी items के साथ आओगे और हम क्या करेंगे सिर्फ ……
• So this time no party but you all can send the gifts to me. Though i don’t expect it from you.
• अगर अभी भी तुमको पार्टी चाहिए तो Somaiya Ground No 2 पर आ जाना, मस्त पार्टी है वहीं ऐश करेंगे….

Just Ending on serious note.

I’ll wake up tomorrow and embrace another year. Another year with more laughter than tears, more success than failure, more hope than despair, and more love than I deserve. Bring it on!

Oh, and dear Lord, thank you for the gift of this last year, with all its hard-learned lessons, and bringing me through safe and healthy, with my family intact. With your blessings I’ll make it through another.
Thank you all for your wishes.

Chindi and Kitabo

The black days of this semester are approaching with the speed no less than that of light towards me …or rather toward all of them who are like me .It makes me feel like a black hole with super gravitational pull attracting all sorts of problem towards itself.
Gone are the days when i used to bunk lectures to catch a nap in the most cozy bed of this world!!!, i am not arrogant but its the sheer love of mine for my bed which makes me write so .The most speedy fan ever invented blowing the most powerful gust of wind on my face…adding to theses factors is the biggest factor “the mess ka chawal ” how come i can forget to mention it .I bet none in this world could have resisted the blessing of god/goddess (its up to u to decide ) of sleep to go into deep sound sleep…in such conditions .
But its a story of past .what lies ahead is future …the most feared days of my life …(or of all the engineering students if I am not wrong ).
I have all ready started running in search of respite ,searching for books(mind you i do read books ) all sorts of help one can bestow upon himself from his/her professors/lecturers .When i approched my professors for some guide lines to how to get through this semester they gave me the names of books with all those name of foreigners(the foreign writers).
Damn it !!!come on !!! its so difficult to spell those names of theirs !!!!!!how come my professors could expect me to read and understand what they have written inside ?seeing that its not the way I will be able to get through I started my search for nirvana …the ultimate truth the “NOTES”.
Yes the notes the ” CHINDI ” notes the ” BRAHMASTRA” of all weapons ….which my local xerox waala provides me at super duper discount rate without any international pressure,for he understands the real pain and trauma of mine,and why not so ?after all its his ansestoral business (sorry if I am exaggerating ).But never the less he is the best possible person providing me with the best possible solution of the worst possible problem I could have got for myself .
Now starts the editing part …lemme have a look of the “CHINDI” notes hmm …haam isn’t it too big ? I think most its parts are useless …I can easily skip its 1st 10 pages and the same is true for its last 8 ones …so nearly 45 pages to study ..oh !!!!!to muggggggggg …But still its too difficult for someone like me ,ok lemme mark those questions which have appeared in the papers for time and again .yes thats it thats my ultimate aim lemme prepare it .
After making sure what I don’t need to study I started my studying …(preparation…in total for it includes all other means of passing the exams ).MUGGING thats the best thing I have learnt in the past 4 semesters of my engineering carrier …no matter what it is engineers are the best muggers to mug it down .If i don’t get what I am reading ..it means that I am on the right path ,the moment I feel that I have started understanding the subject ….beware !!!!!!!! something is wrong somewhere !!!!!! I am on the wrong path .
The phase has started and most of the time I have to spend with my girl friend “KITABO DEVI “lest she gets angry …and her curse darkens my future …hope she will make be feel better in her company and help me get through this 5th semester as she has been doing for the past 4 semester

Thank God!!!!! October is over

Thank God !! October is over. The October heat has gone into my head this time around. In odd semesters of Engineering October is one month which gives tensions and more tensions.

Reason —- With the term end approaching one need to complete all pending assignments, journals, presentations, projects and mandatory attendance in lectures.
All the “good” engineering students never complete their work on time. I am proud to be a “good” one. The months started and the hunt for journals and assignments was on. By that time only few were available in the “market” and remaining were about to hit “market” in few days. Anyways by fitting 15 page matter in 5, i was able to finish my journals and assignments by the time Eid-ul-Fitr was celebrated all over. Before Dusshehra i was supposed to make 3 presentations in the class. I rushed to department notice board to recall the topics of presentations which i submitted some 60 days back at starting of the semester.
I searched for the three presentations on internet. Google solved my 66.67% of the problem. I found the two ready made presentations but was unable to “trace” the third one. This was the first time that I was “guilty” of preparing a presentation on my own. My friends “ridiculed” me for submitting an “original” work in Engineering. Some how presentations were over by third week and i scored good grades as well – ‘B’. The next big tension was attendance.
As I was begging for attendance to my professors, a notice was circulated by college management which read like ” a student will have to write extra assignment for each attendance they are falling short by compulsory 75% required to appear in exams.” I was short of 10 lectures which meant 10 extra assignments. All hell broke loose and i hurled abuse to all those who sat for the lecture but didn’t signed for me and the college management for such a weird and stupid decision at the end. As a part of “exclusive ragging” program in hostel i handed over assignments to my juniors. The term has ended and so has the tensions.
The theory and oral exams are starting next week but that is not a big deal if you “run in the race for forty marks.” You can get these marks by looking “here and there.”
Hopefully i will pass the exams with “flying colours.”